What to Say When You Think Someone is Being Abused

If you suspect a friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, talking with them about it can be hard. The most important thing you can do is to let them know that they have support and options to leave the relationship. 

It's important to remember that you can't "rescue" your friend from an abusive relationship. Although it is hard to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately the person being hurt needs to be the one who decides to do something about it. It's important to support and help her find a way to safety. 

Here are some easy ways to help start the conversation:

Offer support without judgment or criticism.

There are many reasons why a victim may stay in abusive relationships. And, many reasons why she* may leave and return to the relationship many times. Let her know it's not her fault and that she's not alone. Respect her decisions, even when you don't agree. Do not criticize or make her feel guilty -she needs you to be helpful, not hurtful.

• "It's not your fault he treats you that way."
• "I know this is difficult to discuss, but please know you can talk to me about anything."
• "You are not alone. I care about you and am here for you, no matter what."
• "You are not responsible for his behavior."
• "No matter what you did, you do not deserve this."

Don't be afraid to tell her that you're concerned for her safety.

Help your friend or family member recognize the abuse while acknowledging that she is in a very difficult and dangerous situation.

• "I see what is going on with you and _______ and I want to help."
• "You don't deserve to be treated that way. Good husbands and partners don't say or do those kinds of things."
• "The way he treats you is wrong. Men should never hit or threaten the women they love."
• "I'm worried about your safety and am afraid he'll really hurt you next time."
• "Promise me that if you need to talk, you'll come to me."

Avoid confrontations.

There are many reasons why individuals experiencing abuse don't reach out to family and friends. It's important to recognize if she is ready to talk about her experiences while offering support.

• "I'm here to help and am always available, even if you don't want to talk about it."
• "Remember, you're not alone - I am here for you when you're ready to talk about it."

Don't try to make any decisions for your friend because it implies that you think she's incapable of making good choices for herself and it may deter her from confiding in you in the future. Instead, focus on offering support and encouragement.

• "I want to help. What can I do to support you?"
• "How can I help protect your safety?"

Encourage her to get help.

Suggest ways she can get additional support. Help her look into available resources, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline number (for information see below) or a local domestic violence agency with specially-trained advocates to help her out of the situation.

• "Here is the number to our local domestic violence agency. They can help provide shelter, counseling or support groups."
  • You could also add: "They also offer services to help you understand the legal system, access community resources, relocate or get support for your children."
• "Let's develop a safety plan."
• "If you need to go to the police [or court or a lawyer], I can go with you to offer support."

If you are concerned about the safety of your friend or family member, or to learn about services in your area, contact the:  

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Trinidad and Tobago
800-SAVE (7283)

United States
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Help is Available - Toll Free 24/7

*National statistics show that domestic violence primarily impacts women. Feminine pronouns are used in this document when referring to victims of domestic violence and masculine pronouns are used when referring to perpetrators. We are using gender-specific pronouns to keep the writing simple and clear, but we recognize that the issue is not a simple one. Sometimes the perpetrator will be female while the victim will be male. And, domestic violence can happen in same sex relationships as well.

How to Look for Signs of Domestic Violence

Healthy Living: How to look for signs of domestic violence

By: Marcie Fraser

One in four women and one in six men are affected by domestic violence at some point in their lives, and the victim is not always battered.

 

"The threats, the emotional, the psychological control, sexual abuse, financial control, social isolation," Maggie Fronk, Executive Director with the Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Center, said.

Domestic abuse often starts slowly. The early signs may look like and feel like love.

"It can look like a sweet thing in the beginning. 'You're so beautiful,' or, 'I get so jealous when someone's talking to you because you are the most wonderful person,' but that becomes possession later. Criticizing them, trying to control the way they dress or who they associate with," Fronk said.

If you think someone is being abused, look for signs.

"The victim may not be engaging in interests they used to like. They may be dressing differently. They might become less open in their communications," Fronk said. "They might be changing who they are in a way that seems a bit more protective."

If you know someone who is being abused and you can't understand why they stay in the relationship, it's important to be patient and get support for yourself.

"The process of leaving abuse can sometimes take a while for someone to come to the realization, I need to leave. That's what agencies like helps the victim to do but we also help the secondary victims that sister, the mother, the father and who is worried about someone," Fronk said.

Many women with children stay in troubled relationships because of shame and they fear financial instability. Victims should be aware when they stay in a home where there is abuse, they are taking the risk the kids will model the abusive behavior when they get older. Help is only a confidential phone call away.

"We have legal advocates, people who understand the criminal justice system, counseling, case management to help with those concrete needs they have, housing, employment, transportation, health care," Fronk said.

If you or someone you know needs help, contact your local domestic violence and rape crisis center.

Source: http://austin.ynn.com/content/top_stories/291596/healthy-living--how-to-look-for-signs-of-domestic-violence

Police: Domestic Violence Homicide Claims 5 Lives

 

By TED S. WARREN Associated Press

FEDERAL WAY, Wash. April 23, 2013 (AP)

 

What began as a domestic violence homicide claimed three more lives before officers fatally shot the gunman, the police chief of this south Seattle suburb says.

The 27-year-old gunman fatally shot his live-in girlfriend at an apartment then killed three men, including a neighbor who told others to call 911 and retreated inside his unit before the gunman blasted open the door with a shotgun and opened fire.

Responding officers shot and killed the gunman in a parking lot Sunday night.

"We believe this is a domestic-violence homicide," Federal Way Police Chief Brian Wilson told a news conference Monday.

Investigators believe the shooter may also have been trying to kill witnesses, Wilson said.

A King County medical examiner's spokeswoman said Monday that the identities of the dead were not expected to be released until Tuesday afternoon.

Police encountered a chaotic situation in Federal Way when they responded to reports of gunshots.

The suspect confronted arriving officers with a shotgun in a stairwell then fled to the parking lot after officers fired at him, Wilson said.

He was killed on the ground while reaching for a handgun, Wilson said.

"This is one of the most dangerous ... calls for law enforcement to respond to," Wilson said of the active shooter situation.

Wilson said the victims included the suspect's 25-year-old girlfriend, and three men, including the 62-year-old neighbor. The other men were 24 and 46.

Police believe the gunman shot his girlfriend in their apartment, then killed the two younger men after he left the unit.

Wilson said the 62-year-old heard the commotion from another apartment, went outside to investigate and urged others to call authorities. The man returned to his residence before he was shot and killed, the chief said.

Police said the gunman used the shotgun to fire on the man's door to gain entry. It did not appear that the older man knew the shooter, police said.

"When officers arrived there were still shots being fired," said police spokeswoman Cathy Schrock.
Eight officers fired their weapons, Schrock said. All have been placed on administrative leave, which is standard policy in such situations, as the investigation continues.

Wilson said the suspect, who had a valid concealed weapons permit, had no criminal history. However, he had been involved in two prior domestic violence calls in Federal Way and Seattle, the chief said.

Both incidents were verbal in nature and no arrests were made, Wilson said.

Federal Way is about 20 miles south of Seattle.

Source: http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-domestic-violence-homicide-claims-lives-19020192#.UXbKGUpC5a8

Families in Action Celebrates 25th Anniversary

Families in Action celebrates 25th anniversary with Thanksgiving Mass

Sunday, April 21 2013

In 1988, the late Ivis Gibson received the devastating news that an employee of her personnel agency had killed his own mother for money to support an addiction to cocaine. Gibson decided to don armour in the battle against addiction and its threats to devastate families. With help from other dedicated and concerned citizens, Families in Action (FIA) was born as a volunteer-based Drop-in centre for persons and families challenged by drugs, alcohol and other addictions.

Families in Action celebrates 25 years as a legally incorporated, non-profit, non-governmental organisation tomorrow, April 22

Celebrations includes several events this month and continuing over the year into April 2014 including a Thanksgiving Mass today followed by a walk to the Botanical Gardens where friends, family, and staff will enjoy a fun day. This will be followed by a “Families Who Can Cook” event on May 25 at Lion’s Cultural Centre, Port-of-Spain.

The mission of Families in Action is to promote healthy family life, balancing emotional, physical, spiritual, social and psychological needs. We are moved to regenerate both the family unit and/or any individual of that unit experiencing pain, isolation, addiction or dysfunction.

Families in Action has evolved, expanding in response to the social issues being faced by the nation. In addition to its primary focus of individual and family counselling programmes and services, the organisation, currently under the guidance of managing director Elizabeth Spence, also provides:

* Outreach services to communities throughout Trinidad and Tobago

* Addictions Support Programme Services

* Counselling Services for individuals and families

* Employee Assistance and Workplace Support services to the corporate world

* Parenting Programmes

* Youth Education Programmes at both primary and secondary school levels

* 24-hour Hotline Listening Services

* Domestic Violence Support Group for Women

* Vacation Programmes for Teens

* Hotline Listener workshops.

* Distribution of Food Hampers at Christmas time

In spite of perennial funding cuts and funding shortages, and relying on the generosity of private and corporate benefactors, internal fund-raising initiatives, umbrella ministries and the its Employee Assistance Department, the organisation continues to keep its doors open, placing particular emphasis on its parenting and youth education programmes.


For information about programmes please go to www.familiesinaction.net or call 622-6952.


Source: http://www.newsday.co.tt/features/0,176607.html

A Story of Survival ~ Tricia Lives to Share her Story

Monday 12th June, 2006 

By ALeah Mathura-Dookhoo 

^{Domestic violence victim turned author Tricia St John,}

 ^{showing the effects of her encounter with domestic violence,}

 ^{has written a book titled Before Me, After Me, Now Me.}

Tricia St John is a survivor. After being left for dead following a chopping attack by her common-law husband, St John has lived to tell the story.

Four years prior to the attack, St John left her lover.

April 2004, he confronted her outside her sister’s home in Princes Town, where she was vacationing.

It was only when running to safety in a neighbour’s yard that St John noticed her arm was spewing blood. Part of it had been severed and tossed on the side of the road as her attacker fled.
 
“I didn’t actually know what had happened to me,” St John said.
 
“I was standing talking to someone on my cellphone when I felt this burning sensation.

When I turned around it was him, with a cutlass in his hand. All I could do was run.”

A stump now filled the space where her left arm once was.

The tumultuous years of abuse have made the 30-year-old St John stronger, it seemed.

She tells the sordid details of her life’s journey to conquer domestic violence in the book Before Me, After Me, Now Me.

It was during her one-month stay at San Fernando General Hospital that St John decided to write the book.

Compiling her years of abuse was necessary, she said. Some women never get to tell their side of the story, she said, because they are tortured and killed before they get a chance.
“It’s an ugly situation to be in, and worse things happen to people. I have lived to tell my side of it, but many pass on and no one knows what they have been through,” she said.
St John recalled how scary it was when she saw herself in the mirror for the first time after the incident.

She wrote about it in the book.
 
“I spent a lot of time avoiding looking in the mirror. I went a morning to brush my teeth, looked up by accident and saw myself staring back at me. It was a wonder anyone was able to recognise me. I could hardly recognise myself!”
 
“I held my hands up in amazement. First one, then the other. Looking at the left one for the first time.
 
“Was this really me? I resemble one of those war victims seen on TV. This wasn’t me, was it? Where did I go?”

St John said Before Me, After Me, Now Me was also written in memory of those who have lost their lives to domestic violence and those who need support in getting out of abusive relationships.
For her, getting out of her bad relationship was difficult.

She admitted it was for the sake of her children that she chose to endure the abuse.
“My father left when I was very young and I believed my sons would be better off with both parents.”

On a daily basis, before and after school, St John’s children often witnessed the abuse of their mother.

One day St John couldn’t take it anymore.

She packed some clothes in cardboard boxes and moved to a shelter for battered women.
St John later discovered that she was pregnant. And even though she was in a shelter, she was determined to make it as a single mother.

In her book, St John also recounted the challenges she faced of being a single parent.
On April 26, St John launched Before Me, After Me, Now Me, at the Princes Town Public Library in the company of family and friends.

The book is available at all Ishmael Khan and Sons, RIK and Metropolitan Bookstores, and Nigel R Khan Bookseller’s Gulf City branch.

Source: http://legacy.guardian.co.tt/archives/2006-06-12/features1.html 

Note: It is the posters understanding that the book "Before Me, After Me, Now Me" is no longer in print however, this is a compelling story of survival.  

New Book Explores Gender Issue

By Verdel Bishop

Story Created: Apr 15, 2013 at 7:18 PM ECT

Story Updated: Apr 15, 2013 at 7:18 PM ECT 

 

Family support: Author’s mother, Jean Persaide, from left,
her father, Ecliffe Persadie; sister Simone Persadie and
author Natalie Persadie at the launch of A Critical Analysis
of the Efficacy of Law as a Tool to Achieve Gender Equality,
at the Noor Hassanali Auditorium, UWI, St Augustine.
—Photos: Verdel Bishop

A  Critical Analysis of the Efficacy of Law as a Tool to Achieve Gender Equality, was launched last Friday at the Noor Hassanali Auditorium, UWI, St Augustine, to rave reviews.  Based on author, Doctor Natalie Persadie’s Doctoral Thesis, the book evaluates issues on gender and the law, women’s rights,  Trinidad and Tobago’s domestic gneder policy – the legislative resonse, discrimination against women, domestic violence, women development, government policy and social conditions. 

Justice Desiree Bernard in her review, hailed the book as an outstanding comprehensive book of high journalistic standard. The book is dedicated to providing a forum for exploring gender issues, law and society. “It is a masterpiece. I recommend it to all persons male or female interested in the advancement of women in all spares whether political, cultural social or economic,” Bernard said. Bernard noted that it is only with depth of knowledge on equality that solutions can be identified and public awareness can be raised.

Persadie said the achievement of legal advances for women at international or international levels is difficult. “Law is often perceived as an instrument that can effect social change. While this might be so, it must be complemented by the necessary financial and human resources to make the law effective. Among developing countries, such as Trinidad and Tobago, the achievement of legal advances for women at either the international or national levelsis particularly difficult where practical measures are not subsequently implemented. This is, perhaps, attributable to a lack of political will,”Persadie said.

She noted that important issues such as gender equality and domestic violence are not given priority and laws aimed at protecting women and promoting women’s rights are ineffective, scant, or unenforced. “Gender justice can only be realised through a multilevel approach from above and, more importantly, from below, as women have the potential to effect real national and international legal and institutional change to ensure gender equality at both levels,” she said.

Persadie told the Express that gender equality and domestic violence are real social problems that exist. She noted that the book is a scholarly work that university students and practitioners with an interest in law and gender will find useful. “People tend to believe that law is the answer to any social ill or problem we face, so I thought that it would be interesting to examine how the law in Trinidad and Tobago provided for women, as gender inequality and domestic violence are real social problems that exist here.”

She explained further, “It is generally accepted that developing countries are less inclined to prioritise “softer” issues, such as environmental protection or women’s issues for example, and this study was meant, in part, to examine the truth of this presumption. What I found was that, while we may have laws to deal with many social problems, there is the problem of poor enforcement of the law. This is due to the fact that the associated institutional and human resource bases necessary to make the law workable are poorly funded and, therefore, proper implementation of the law becomes a problem.”.

The Domestic Violence Act which was passed in 1999 has little effect in the protection against women, the author said. “Domestic violence is a real problem; it is an issue that headlines very regularly. Trinidad and Tobago passed the Domestic Violence Act in 1999, but it has clearly had little effect in providing the necessary protection to abused women. While this piece of legislation is meant to address domestic violence in its widest possible sense, as it covers physical, sexual, emotional or psychological or financial abuse, there are a number of shortcomings in the Act itself which undermine its effectiveness, as noted in Chapter Five of the book. The local context was not fully taken into consideration when this piece of legislation was adopted,” she said.

The author believes there are numerous institutional issues at the level of the Magistrates’ Court and the Police Service that needs to be addressed to help make the Act more effective. “Ideally, the scope of the Family Court will be changed such that it will be able to hear domestic violence matters as a primary issue as the atmosphere is much more conducive than at the Magistrates’ Court. One of the most important services offered at the Family Court is the post-order counselling service which can help deal with the psychological fallout; this is not a service available at the Magistrates’ Court.”

In the first chapter of A Critical Analysis of the Efficacy of Law as a Tool to Achieve Gender Equality, Persadie said it is important to use a combined theoretical approach relying on both feminist legal theory and critical theory to uncover inherent biases as a means of offering hope to women in accessing and securing rights. She noted the feminist legal theory is very much aligned with the goal of critical theory which is to question historically given truths and to expose the inherent biases lying therein as a means for self-development: it is for this reason important that the theoretical approach be combined to discuss the possibility of women gaining greater access to the rights that are theirs.

“Generally speaking, we need attititudinal change to break the cycle of gender inequality and domestic violence. Important to the process are education, from any early age, to change traditional and (often) discriminatory attitudes; training; legal literacy; adequate gender representation in top policy-making positions; and the provision of resources, financial and otherwise, which if provided, would indicate political will at the level of the State,” Persadie said. 

Source: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/featured-news/New-book-explores-gender-issues-203109441.html

Churches and Domestic Violence

April 12th, 2013
See the video or continue below to see the transcript:
http://video.pbs.org/video/2364993506

JUDY VALENTE, correspondent: Father Charles Dahm has come to a parish on Chicago’s north side to deliver the kind of homily the parishioners have probably never heard before—one which will make some of them uncomfortable.

FATHER CHARLES DAHM: (preaching) How many of you have ever heard a sermon about domestic violence? Raise your hand. See, no one.

Domestic violence is often unnoticed, hidden from our eyes, but actually it is rampant in our society and in our communities. We know, of course, that there are probably women here this morning who have experienced violence in their own homes, and our heart goes out to you.

RITA SMITH (Executive Director, National Coalition against Domestic Violence): One in four women will be abused sometime in her lifetime.
 

VALENTE: Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, says the problem of abuse also imposes a significant cost to society.

SMITH: Lost time at work, decreased productivity at work, health care costs related to injuries as a result of abuse, response time and cost for law enforcement to go to calls when someone is being battered.


VALENTE: But so often the problem lies hidden.

FATHER DAHM: I’ve been a priest for 48 years. I didn’t see it until I hired a pastoral counselor and one day she said, “Father, you know, almost all my clients from the parish are women who are victims of domestic violence.” And I didn’t know it. And I knew many of those women.

VALENTE: Father Dahm was surprised by the extent of domestic violence within the families he served. When he realized there was no official church outreach to abuse victims, he decided to start his own ministry.

FATHER DAHM: Priests generally do not talk about it. And most dioceses in the United States have no services, or very limited services, for victims of domestic violence.

VALENTE: He goes to parishes where he is invited. So far he has traveled to some thirty parishes in the Chicago area. He has no budget and a limited staff of volunteers to focus attention on the problem. And pastors have not always been enthusiastic about his message.

FATHER DAHM: One priest didn’t want to do it because he thought it would be offensive to the children who might be in the congregation listening to the homily. Others think we don’t have that problem here. It’s someplace else. We don’t have it. Or that it’s too difficult a topic to talk about and they don’t know how to do it.

SMITH: I would say at this point most churches are not doing a particularly good job with this. It’s not that they don’t want to. I think that this is just a very, very complex issue.

FATHER DAHM: (praying) We’re here tonight because we want to serve especially those people who suffer violence in their own homes.

VALENTE: After talking about domestic violence at Mass, Father Dahm invites parishioners to meet with him to discuss how their church might help those who are suffering abuse. On this night, six people came. Some had been victims, others simply wanted to help.

MARIA: I come from an abusive home, and it’s led me to get into abusive relationships. I’m divorced also because I divorced my abuser, but I was about to marry another abuser. So this is the cycle that continues unless you get help.

JEAN MIRABELLA (Clinical Social Worker): I left a domestic violence relationship almost 35 years ago, myself and my four kids. The sad news is not very much has changed as far as men who batter and women who struggle to get out of the relationship.

JAN BERDULIS (St. Pascal Parish): When he preached at our parish about a year ago, I was sort of surprised because I was unaware at that time of domestic violence and how prevalent it is within all communities, all neighborhoods, all levels, all ethnicities.

VALENTE: Father Dahm tells them a first step is to establish a support group, so that women who are battered know they have a safe place to tell their stories. The parish can then work to connect them with agencies that can help. Parish volunteers also need to be trained so they know how to respond to pleas for help.

FATHER DAHM: Many times victims call and they don’t say “I’m a victim of domestic violence.” They just might say, “I need to talk.” Or “I’m having problems in my home” or “My husband and I are having problems.” So that’s all. So that’s actually a code almost for “I need help.”

LAURA REYES: One day I ended up in the hospital because I had bruises on my face. He kicked me and hit me in my face many times.

VALENTE: Women often stay for years in abusive relationships, for a variety of reasons.

REYES: You think you love the person, that God wants you to be in the relationship because it was the man of your life, because he’s the father of your daughter. So you belong there.
 
MIRABELLA: So many of the women I’ve worked with over all these years are practicing Catholics and they cannot comprehend the idea that it would be acceptable if they were to leave and get divorced, so your message is like something I didn’t think I’d be hearing in my lifetime.

FATHER DAHM: What’s one of the worst things you can do for your children is to let them grow up in a home where there’s violence. Because your daughters are learning how to be submissive to this abuse, and your sons are learning how to be abusive and they may enter into marriages that are just like yours. Do you want that?

VALENTE: The US Conference of Catholic Bishops has said “no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage,” adding, “We encourage abused persons who have divorced to investigate the possibility of seeking an annulment.”

Valerie Yokie is a director with Mary Kay cosmetics. She says she first became aware of the extent of domestic abuse by talking to her customers. At one point, she served on an advisory board to Chicago’s Cardinal Francis George. She brought the issue of domestic violence to his attention—forcefully, she recalls.


VALERIE YOKIE: Your Eminence, we don’t talk about it in our churches, we are not supporting women, and our church would be nowhere if it weren’t for women.

VALENTE: About 25 people showed up for a meeting on domestic violence at Yokie’s church after Father Dahm spoke at the Masses. Yokie believes churches are one of the best settings in which to address the problem.

YOKIE: It’s the one place where you have the perpetrator, the victim and the witnesses, the kids, hearing the message that it’s wrong, that God loves you, we’re here to support you, you don’t have to put up with it.

VALENTE: Men can also be victims of domestic abuse, often in same-sex relationships, but that number is small compared to women. And domestic violence can be other than physical.

FATHER DAHM: Emotional or psychological violence is much more difficult to detect, but it’s also more frequent, the belittling, demeaning, the insults, all the ways in which the woman is isolated from her family and friends.

VALENTE: That was the case with Elia and Roman Carreon. The first twenty years of their marriage were marked by frequent periods of emotional trauma.


ELIA CARREON: The verbal abuse, the silent treatment, the humiliation of the words. He would call me names, he would call me crazy. Every time I would bring up counseling he would say, you go to counseling, you’re the one that’s crazy.

ROMAN CARREON: To me I was a nice man. That’s what I saw about me. I never hit anybody. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was just…Actually I thought of myself as actually doing something better than most of my family.

VALENTE: Finally, with Father Dahm’s help, they entered counseling.

ROMAN CARREON: I would hear other men telling their story. And I would say, you know, as they were saying their story, how come you’re not expecting to get in trouble with the things you’re doing? That’s wrong. But then after a little while I realized, jeez, that’s what I do.

VALENTE: (to Elia) How would you describe your marriage now?

ELIA CARREON: Healthy. If I had to choose one word, it’s healthy. Not only are we healthier, are we more in love.


ROMAN CARREON: Now I know that she’s my partner. We’re aiming to grow old together. It’s not about me anymore. Now, if something happens to you, it happens to me too.

VALENTE: Reported incidents of domestic abuse nationwide are down. But Father Dahm says it’s difficult to measure success, because no one knows how many women who need help aren’t coming forward. A woman might leave an abusive partner as many as seven times before she finally makes the break. And the abusers don’t change easily. Father Dahm says they have to be confronted and held accountable.

FATHER DAHM: The good news about domestic violence is that it is learned behavior. It’s not something we inherit in our genes; we learn it from somebody, someplace. That means it can be unlearned.

(speaking to group) I’ve seen it with abusers who’ve converted and now have turned their lives around. They’re super active in our parish. So we have a very strong men’s group in our parish that is made up primarily of people who were perpetrators.

ROMAN CARREON: I went twenty years of my marriage without knowing all this. So I did a lot of things that now I regret. But thank God, you know, I can live the rest of my life with my wife without violence.

VALENTE: Which is why Father Dahm will continue visiting parishes, delivering a homily that will be news to some. For others, it’s a message that may change their lives.

For Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, I’m Judy Valente in Chicago.

Source:  http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/episodes/april-12-2013/churches-and-domestic-violence/15846/

Regional Domestic Violence Conference

Caribarena Antigua

Regional

Monday, 08 April 2013 02:30  

By press release 

The Inaugural Caribbean Conference on Domestic Violence and Gender Equality - Protecting Women and Girls, presented by the Global Center for Behavioural Health, was held at the Magdalena Grand Hotel, March 25 to 27, in Trinidad & Tobago.

Donna Christensen, US Congresswoman and representative from the US Virgin Islands, was the keynote speaker at the opening reception.

A highlight of the conference was President Barack Obama’s letter of greeting, which was read to conference delegates. Governor Martin O’Malley of the state of Maryland also sent greetings.

There were more than 39 featured speakers and training institute facilitators at the conference, including: Ann Thimothee-Milfort, chief of staff of the President’s Cabinet in Haiti, and Diana Mahabir-Wyatt of PMSL, Dr Edward Greene, UN Secretary General Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS for the Caribbean, Brenda Gopeesingh, Trinidad and Tobago Special Envoy for Women and Girls, and Thomas Smitham, Charge de Affaires and the US Embassy of Trinidad and Tobago.

Speakers discussed issues related to gender-based violence globally and regionally and its relevance to Migration and Human Trafficking, the role of Faith-Based Organizations and the International Labour Organization perspective-Decent Work Agenda. The UN Secretary General Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in the Caribbean discussed Domestic Violence and Gender Equality and the Post 2015 Development Agenda. Men and boys were also at the forefront as speakers discussed the Mind of the Abused and the Abused, Identifying Typologies from Male Partner Violence Treatment Groups and a Training Institute that focused on Health, Mental Health and social Service Providers featuring CariMan, champions for change.

Eleanor Frederick, Public Health Consultant, Founder, and Executive Director of the Antigua & Barbuda HIV/AIDS Network is a member of the Leadership and Planning committee and made a poster presentation titled: Gender and its Relationship to the Incidence of Domestic Violence and HIV in Antigua and Barbuda.  She discussed that globally, the double “epidemics” of domestic violence and HIV have gender as a common factor. Frederick said Gender refers to economic, social, political and cultural attributes and opportunities associated with being a woman or a man. Gender is a socio-cultural expression associated with certain groups of people with reference to their sex and sexuality. Domestic violence, include physical, emotional, psychological, religious, sexual, institutional and economic violence and the trauma that results.

Further, Frederick stated that a worldwide 48 population-based survey reported that 10-69 percent of women were physically assaulted by an intimate male partner. Intimate partners commit 40-70 percent of homicides of women worldwide and 1 in 3 women have been beaten and coerced into sex. Abused women may not be comfortable requesting their partners use protection or to refuse sexual advances. Forced sex acts can cause bruises and cuts, which can increase the transmission of HIV.

According to an anonymous and confidential survey administered by Frederick, females reported more incidences of domestic violence than males.  However, more HIV+ individuals’ females and males at a rate of 3:1 reported domestic violence as compared to HIV negative individuals. Everyone surveyed who was in same sex relationships reported abuse. Therefore, Frederick believes there is need for a longitudinal large-scale study of gender and its relationship to domestic violence and transmission of HIV in Antigua & Barbuda.

Source: http://www.caribarena.com/antigua/news/regional/244-regional/103591-regional-domestic-violence-conference.html