By Sandrine Rattan Tuesday, June 11 2013
As
a woman, it pains me deep within my chest, every time a woman is
brutalised emotionally and physically …then ultimately murdered.
I
have never been in an abusive relationship neither have I ever
experienced abuse from my husband, but as a woman, I share the domestic
pain which continues to be inflicted on our women, and I ask myself why?
During my 15 plus years writing in the media, I have written several pieces on the issue of domestic violence and child abuse, but the incidents continue unabated. One may say, that it is the responsibility of the Government to holistically address the issue, but I beg to differ. Whilst the Government may be responsible for ensuring that particular mechanisms are put in place to assist the victims – and may I commend Marlene Coudray, Minister of Gender, Youth and Child Development on her Ministry’s initiative regarding the establishment of additional safe houses – the issue is a much larger one.
The reality is that domestic violence is deep-rooted, and requires collective efforts including the Government but not limited to the Government only. In order to effectively examine and understand this social plague, we need to begin having conversations and community workshops about gender sensitisation, which has to do with changing behaviours, and in so doing, instill empathy into the views or perceptions we hold both of our own and that of the other sex, that is males versus females.
Families also need to re-visit their living patterns and be each other’s keeper, recognise the signs of domestic violence, and if they do exist, deal with the matter appropriately sooner rather than later. Women also need to be conscious and real about their lives – once you recognise violent and/or jealous signs and symptoms, get out. Additionally, women also need to be cognizant about some of the characteristics associated with batterers.
Some of these include:
* Low self-esteem
* A rush to start a relationship
* “Excessively” jealous
* Exhibit controlling behaviour
* Unrealistic expectations and demands
* Use isolation to keep your focus on them
* Strong belief in male supremacy and
stereotypical masculine role in the family.
* Poor communication skills
* Use of force during sexual intercourse
* Blame others for their actions
* Are prone to hypersensitivity
* Dual personalities
* Exhibit cruelty to animals or children
These are just some of the basic and immediate actions which can be taken to at least start the process of minimising if not eradicating the occurrence of domestic violence. Due to the magnitude of the issue, it must be addressed at a multi-faceted level, hence the foregoing. I would like to continue to focus some more on women in terms of their own self-esteem and attitudes. Women need to discard the mythical perception that they need a man in order to co-exist. It is a fact that we need men for support, and that support is all encompassing to include emotional, sexual and just a great companion. However, if these attributes are lacking to the extent that all you receive is abuse, then you need to remove yourselves from the situation by any means necessary. Women need to be pampered, loved and cherished not to be abused and treated as objects.
Domestic violence also has to be addressed at both ends of the spectrum – the victim and the offender. For the victim, the question to be asked is, “Why is she remaining in an abusive relationship?” while for the offender – “Why does he engage in abusive behaviour”? Responses to these two primary questions will lead to the unearthing of other critical pieces of information which contribute to the situation.
Our most recent incident is the death of 29-year-old, Rehanna Ali. Based on media reports, Rehanna was virtually a prisoner in her own home and was abused for the past eight years. Were women created by the divine saviour to undergo this kind of torment?
Now she is dead. It has been proven globally, that women form part of the main fabric of our society – let’s save and cherish them now!
(Sandrine Rattan is a communications specialist and has also studied psychology and environmental relationships.)
During my 15 plus years writing in the media, I have written several pieces on the issue of domestic violence and child abuse, but the incidents continue unabated. One may say, that it is the responsibility of the Government to holistically address the issue, but I beg to differ. Whilst the Government may be responsible for ensuring that particular mechanisms are put in place to assist the victims – and may I commend Marlene Coudray, Minister of Gender, Youth and Child Development on her Ministry’s initiative regarding the establishment of additional safe houses – the issue is a much larger one.
The reality is that domestic violence is deep-rooted, and requires collective efforts including the Government but not limited to the Government only. In order to effectively examine and understand this social plague, we need to begin having conversations and community workshops about gender sensitisation, which has to do with changing behaviours, and in so doing, instill empathy into the views or perceptions we hold both of our own and that of the other sex, that is males versus females.
Families also need to re-visit their living patterns and be each other’s keeper, recognise the signs of domestic violence, and if they do exist, deal with the matter appropriately sooner rather than later. Women also need to be conscious and real about their lives – once you recognise violent and/or jealous signs and symptoms, get out. Additionally, women also need to be cognizant about some of the characteristics associated with batterers.
Some of these include:
* Low self-esteem
* A rush to start a relationship
* “Excessively” jealous
* Exhibit controlling behaviour
* Unrealistic expectations and demands
* Use isolation to keep your focus on them
* Strong belief in male supremacy and
stereotypical masculine role in the family.
* Poor communication skills
* Use of force during sexual intercourse
* Blame others for their actions
* Are prone to hypersensitivity
* Dual personalities
* Exhibit cruelty to animals or children
These are just some of the basic and immediate actions which can be taken to at least start the process of minimising if not eradicating the occurrence of domestic violence. Due to the magnitude of the issue, it must be addressed at a multi-faceted level, hence the foregoing. I would like to continue to focus some more on women in terms of their own self-esteem and attitudes. Women need to discard the mythical perception that they need a man in order to co-exist. It is a fact that we need men for support, and that support is all encompassing to include emotional, sexual and just a great companion. However, if these attributes are lacking to the extent that all you receive is abuse, then you need to remove yourselves from the situation by any means necessary. Women need to be pampered, loved and cherished not to be abused and treated as objects.
Domestic violence also has to be addressed at both ends of the spectrum – the victim and the offender. For the victim, the question to be asked is, “Why is she remaining in an abusive relationship?” while for the offender – “Why does he engage in abusive behaviour”? Responses to these two primary questions will lead to the unearthing of other critical pieces of information which contribute to the situation.
Our most recent incident is the death of 29-year-old, Rehanna Ali. Based on media reports, Rehanna was virtually a prisoner in her own home and was abused for the past eight years. Were women created by the divine saviour to undergo this kind of torment?
Now she is dead. It has been proven globally, that women form part of the main fabric of our society – let’s save and cherish them now!
(Sandrine Rattan is a communications specialist and has also studied psychology and environmental relationships.)
No comments:
Post a Comment