Dragonfly Centre: MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE

Mission

Non-Profit, 501(c)(3)

Mission: The Dragonfly Centre is committed to the elimination of domestic violence against women and their children by providing victim friendly services that promotes the empowerment of survivors; through advocacy, public awareness and education and community based initiatives.

Vision: The Dragonfly Centre envisions a world free of violence against women and their children and social justice for all. We are founded on the vision and belief that every person has the right to live in a safe environment free from violence and the fear of violence and strive to work collaboratively with the community to provide victim friendly services to support domestic violence victims, survivors to the stage of thriving.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

MYTHS ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE

MYTH: Violence is really only an isolated event. There isn't much of it happening.
REALITY: One out of every 15 relationships are currently experiencing the sort of violence that will send the victim to the hospital.

MYTH: Domestic violence only happens to poor people or minorities.
REALITY: Abuse can happen in any household, regardless of race, economic background or educational level.

MYTH: The victim "makes the partner hit them" by "getting in their face." They "ask for it."
REALITY: Every relationship has arguments and stress, but most people don't hit others when they get angry. An abuser has limited skills to deal with stress.

MYTH: The victim actually enjoys the attention, needs the violence or is a perpetual victim.
REALITY: Victims do not want to be hit. The abuser's violence is their own responsibility.

MYTH: The abuser is a sick or crazy monster, angry all the time.
REALITY: An abuser can be passive, a "nice person" generous to others and sensitive. Anyone could be an abuser.

MYTH: Alcohol or a bad marriage is the cause of violence.
REALITY: Most abusers hit whether drunk or sober. Alcohol/substance abuse can reduce the ability to control behavior.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!
YOU DIDN'T CAUSE THE VIOLENCE, BUT YOU CAN END IT.

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

Trinidad and Tobago

800-SAVE (7283)

United States

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Help is Available - Toll Free 24/7

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A Little Background…..

In 2007 I was introduced to the twin island Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. It is a beautiful tropical country located in the southern most part of the Caribbean archipelago. However, the opportunity to travel to this part of the world would not present itself until March of 2009. It was an incredible experience to be able to visit a country where I had never been before and I literally knew no-one. I had the privilege to experience a new culture and meet many wonderful people who made my trip an amazing experience. Although the purpose of my visit was recreational, something happened that changed all of that. One evening while on a hike with my tour guide and one of the locals at The ASA Wright Nature Centre, one of the men asked me where I was from and what I did for a living. It was at that moment that I disclosed that I was a Domestic Violence Advocate. He paused, looked at me and replied,… “we need you here”. At that moment I did not fully understand what he meant or how I could help.

A few days after this I visited one of the local court houses to learn about how someone could obtain a protection order. What I discovered disturbed me greatly, to say the least. The process by which abused individuals could obtain legal protections left much to be desired. This sparked grave concern for victims coupled with a desire to learn more about the local system and services. After I finished my travels all I could think about was the need of the people in Trinidad and Tobago. It was shortly after my return to the United States that the Dragonfly Centre for Women’s Empowerment and Transformation began to take form. While completing my Bachelors degree at Evergreen College, I developed an Individual Learning Contract entitled “Domestic Violence in Trinidad and Tobago” and was awarded The Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship. This allowed me to return to Trinidad and Tobago for my final quarter at the end of December of 2009 for my nine week study. My focus was on services addressing domestic violence. What I came away with was the echoing cries for help by the people who freely shared their personal views and stories. Although I wasn’t quite sure what, I knew I had to do something. As a consequence, it was these cries that gave birth to and helped shape the Dragonfly Centre to be what it is, a multifaceted institution with a focus on public education, shaping public policy and providing direct victim friendly services to support families dealing with domestic violence.