Dragonfly Centre: The question can make all the difference

Mission

Non-Profit, 501(c)(3)

Mission: The Dragonfly Centre is committed to the elimination of domestic violence against women and their children by providing victim friendly services that promotes the empowerment of survivors; through advocacy, public awareness and education and community based initiatives.

Vision: The Dragonfly Centre envisions a world free of violence against women and their children and social justice for all. We are founded on the vision and belief that every person has the right to live in a safe environment free from violence and the fear of violence and strive to work collaboratively with the community to provide victim friendly services to support domestic violence victims, survivors to the stage of thriving.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The question can make all the difference

By Leigh Hofheimer

Just imagine you are sitting in your doctor’s office waiting for the doctor and chatting with the medical assistant. Maybe it’s your yearly physical or maybe this is your first visit and you just want antibiotics for a relentless chest cold. All of a sudden she starts running through this list of questions:

Have you ever been emotionally or physically abused by your partner or someone important to you?

Within the last year, have you been hit, slapped, kicked or otherwise physically hurt by someone? If YES, who? Husband, Ex-Husband, Boyfriend, Stranger, Other? Total number of times?

Since you’ve been pregnant, have you been slapped, kicked or otherwise physically hurt by someone? If YES, who? Husband, Ex-Husband, Boyfriend, Stranger, Other? Total number of times?

I would probably answer “no” to all of these questions even if I was experiencing abuse. It is so alienating to boil down the complexities of any relationship to these questions. And besides after I answer these questions, what happens? Where does this information go? Will you look at me differently? Judge me and my partner? Do you have any help to offer if I take a risk and tell you anything?

Current healthcare research shows that both finding the right way to ask and connecting a patient to resources is the two-step golden ticket for effective support.

Offering support starts with showing you have some idea about what living in a coercive and abusive relationship might feel like. Futures Without Violence offers a Safety Card with these questions:
Ask yourself: Are you in a healthy relationship?

Is my partner willing to communicate openly when there are problems?
Does my partner give me space to spend time with other people?
Is my partner kind and supportive?

If you answered YES to these questions, it is likely that you are in a healthy relationship. Studies show that this kind of relationship leads to better physical and mental health, longer life, and better outcomes for your children.
Ask yourself: Are you in an unhealthy relationship?

Does my partner shame me or humiliate me in front of others or in private?
Does my partner control where I go, who I talk to, and how I spend money?
Has my partner hurt or threatened me, or forced me to have sex?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, your health and safety may be in danger.

Their information also includes national hotline resources and where to get advocacy services.

I may still hesitate to answer these questions, but I know that the person in front of me is ready to have a deeper conversation and has some resources. Screening for, asking about, or listening for abuse in a relationship is not an end in itself. Providing support and connection is what survivors tell us they want.

If healthcare professionals really want to help, they have to take the time to learn the right questions and get comfortable connecting their patients to advocacy services. Consider helping by taking a stack of Safety Cards (they’re free) to your next doctor’s appointment.

Source: http://canyourelate.org/2014/06/03/the-question-can-make-all-the-difference/

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A Little Background…..

In 2007 I was introduced to the twin island Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. It is a beautiful tropical country located in the southern most part of the Caribbean archipelago. However, the opportunity to travel to this part of the world would not present itself until March of 2009. It was an incredible experience to be able to visit a country where I had never been before and I literally knew no-one. I had the privilege to experience a new culture and meet many wonderful people who made my trip an amazing experience. Although the purpose of my visit was recreational, something happened that changed all of that. One evening while on a hike with my tour guide and one of the locals at The ASA Wright Nature Centre, one of the men asked me where I was from and what I did for a living. It was at that moment that I disclosed that I was a Domestic Violence Advocate. He paused, looked at me and replied,… “we need you here”. At that moment I did not fully understand what he meant or how I could help.

A few days after this I visited one of the local court houses to learn about how someone could obtain a protection order. What I discovered disturbed me greatly, to say the least. The process by which abused individuals could obtain legal protections left much to be desired. This sparked grave concern for victims coupled with a desire to learn more about the local system and services. After I finished my travels all I could think about was the need of the people in Trinidad and Tobago. It was shortly after my return to the United States that the Dragonfly Centre for Women’s Empowerment and Transformation began to take form. While completing my Bachelors degree at Evergreen College, I developed an Individual Learning Contract entitled “Domestic Violence in Trinidad and Tobago” and was awarded The Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship. This allowed me to return to Trinidad and Tobago for my final quarter at the end of December of 2009 for my nine week study. My focus was on services addressing domestic violence. What I came away with was the echoing cries for help by the people who freely shared their personal views and stories. Although I wasn’t quite sure what, I knew I had to do something. As a consequence, it was these cries that gave birth to and helped shape the Dragonfly Centre to be what it is, a multifaceted institution with a focus on public education, shaping public policy and providing direct victim friendly services to support families dealing with domestic violence.