Former Independent Senator Mahabir-Wyatt: Act Against Domestic Violence Not Working

Former Independent senator Mahabir-Wyatt: Act against domestic violence not working

Published: Friday, November 8, 2013

Reshma Ragoonath

A cross-section of students from Holy Faith Convent, Couva, ASJA

Girls’ College, Charlieville, and Saraswatie Hindu College at the

Parliamentary Outreach Programme at the Rudranath Capildeo Learning

Resource Centre, Couva, on Thursday.

Former independent senator Diana Mahabir-Wyatt says women must now stand up for each other as the Domestic Violence Act was not working. She said so yesterday as she addressed students of ASJA Girls’ College, Saraswati Girls Hindu College and Holy Faith Convent during a Parliament outreach programme with Speaker of the House of Representatives Wade Mark at the Rudranath Capildeo Learning Resource Centre, Couva.

Mahabir-Wyatt, head of the T&T Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Rape Crisis Centre, said that even though there was legislation to protect them, women were still abused and “that is not going to stop.” In fact, she said, violence against women was increasing and the Domestic Violence Act was not working because abusers were finding ways around the provisions of the act and protection orders.

“You cannot put a police officer in everybody’s house because domestic violence by and large takes place in the house,” she said. Mahabir-Wyatt, who was responding to question from a student, said citizens needed to recognise that the environment was changing and it was becoming “more and more violent societally, sociologically and physically.” She said women needed to be more vocal and stand up for their rights.

“One of the things that we have to do as women, and I say this to every single one of you here, is not to sit back and wait for government to pass laws to protect you. We have to organise ourselves and each other and we have to help each other,” she added. Mahabir-Wyatt told the students to help fellow women when they asked for help because someday they may find themselves in a position where they also would need help.

She said women could help and support each other, start organisations in their communities and help in the battle to end domestic violence. “We have to be strong enough and brave enough and honest enough to organise and help each other in order to protect our children, to protect our family,” she said. She said men also were subjected to abuse, since “women are not angels,” and could be “just as vicious with their tongues as men can be with their fists.”

Ramona Ramdial, Couva South MP and junior Minister of the Environment and Water Resources, suggested there was a lack of reporting of abuse. “I urge young women, do not be afraid to speak out, to help a friend or family member,” she said. The minister made a faux pas when she called on the students also to report abuse to the Children’s Authority hotline. Mahabir-Wyatt reminded her the Children’s Authority was still not ready for operation as it was in the process of recruiting staff.

Mark said education played a critical role in gender equality. He suggested that male and female citizens from the kindergarten level to tertiary level must be educated and have an appreciation for women’s rights.

Source:  http://guardian.co.tt/news/2013-11-08/former-independent-senator-mahabir-wyatt-act-against-domestic-violence-not-working

Examining Views on Domestic Violence CHRIS BROWN — FORGIVE AND FORGET?

Examining views on domestic violence

CHRIS BROWN — FORGIVE AND FORGET?

Published: Monday, October 29, 2012

Bobie-lee Dixon

 Left: Singer Rihanna who was beaten by Chris Brown when they were in a

 relationship says she has forgiven Brown. Right: Guyanese women’s rights

groups have been protesting against the upcoming visit of Chris Brown.

It seems no matter how hard Chris Brown tries to move on in life, his past continues to haunt him. The 23-year-old singer whose latest album, Fortune has sold 303,600 copies worldwide, is making headlines again. But this time, not for any run-ins with the law.

 

Because of Brown’s felony assault charges and conviction in the beating of singer and then girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, his visit to Guyana is being vehemently criticised by women rights groups in the country where he is expected to perform in December.

 

The singer/songwriter is billed to perform on Boxing night in the state’s capital, Georgetown and the Guyanese government has also come under fire as it is alleged they are partly responsible for financing the convicted domestic abuser's visit. According to reports, the Government, in a bid to promote tourism is spending a great deal of money on the singer whose criminal record forbids him to perform in countries like the UK.

 

The protesting groups have voiced their opinions on blogs, saying that allowing Brown to perform in the country sends the wrong message especially as the government does not finance existing programmes in the country geared towards fighting domestic violence and providing rehabilitation for ex-domestic abusers. 

 

Others recognise his ‘right’ to perform in Guyana but question the use of taxpayer’s dollars to support his performance and some activists have said his visit makes a mockery of an upcoming 16-day Activism Against Gender-based Violence campaign, especially since the concert coincides with the occasion.

 

However, fans who use the social networking site Twitter have taken to Brown’s fan page pledging their support to the singer, saying he deserves a second chance and he has already paid for his mistake. Brown was sentenced by a Los Angeles judge to probation of five years and community labour for six months for assaulting Rihanna. He was also ordered to stay away from his former for the next five years from the incident’s date. But Rihanna has since forgiven Brown and even confessed to TV show host Oprah Winfrey in a recent interview that he is the love of her life. 

 

The Barbadian songstress said she found the capacity to forgive Brown for the attack through finding the means to forgive her own father for the abuse he subjected her mother to. The two have even collaborated on a few songs including the popular Cake.

Recent reports that the couple are reuniting has prompted mixed reactions among fans of both celebrities.

 

There have been unconfirmed reports that Brown is also carded to visit Trinidad and Tobago before the year’s end. Are people in this country as concerned as those in Guyana about allowing him to perform here given his domestic violence conviction, or are they ready to forgive and forget?  The T&T Guardian took to the streets of Port-of Spain to get a view from the some younger members of the public. Stephen Andrews, Kristoff Alexander and Shakima Joseph all 20, and 16-year-old Celine Weeks were interviewed 

Three of them said that Brown has done his time for the crime he committed and has proven he has changed. They believe he deserves a second chance. However, Alexander who is not a Brown fan said because of the incident, Brown should not be celebrated in anyway. 

 

We also spoke with Gregory Sloane-Seale, former child rights activist with the Coalition Against Domestic Violence and co-ordinator of the Citizen Security Programme within the Ministry of National Security, as well as criminologist Renee Cummings. Sloane-Seale said it was not just about giving Brown a second chance. According to him, it is about watching what has transpired since the incident to date. He said from what he has read about Brown since the Rihanna incident, the performer seems to have shown remorse, attended the anger management sessions ordered by the court and continues to do his community service.  

 

“He is a young person, his presence can be a voice for hope and change among young people especially young men. You cannot condemn a person for life especially a young person for his infraction,” Sloane-Seale said. He added that it would have been wise for the Guyanese groups who are protesting to correspond with Brown’s management before his visit and organise for him speak about his experience and transformation during his visit to the country. “It is always sad for me when we throw the baby out with the bath water. No one is praising what he did but his actions were  already condemned, it was a moment that’s gone. We have to see how he goes on from here, support him and give him a chance to prove his change.”

 

Renee Cummings shared Sloane-Seale’s views. She said in domestic violence not all perpetrators have to continue being violent. She said the incident between Brown and Rihanna occurred at a time when they were very young, famous, rich and living on their own without guidance. For him to be continually labeled an abuser is wrong Cummings reasoned, as it only occurred once and he has since cleaned up his act. She said he has a criminal record because he was charged but the public has got to give him a chance to prove himself.

 

"In any relationship tempers flare — be it teenagers or adults and often we act out on the spur of the moment, realising after it could have been handled differently,” said Cummings."Yes he has a criminal record but does that mean the minute he lands in Guyana or Trinidad he is going to beat a woman," she rhetorically asked. Cummings said if they can organise to have him speak to young men about his experience and how it stigmatizes, that would be a bonus seeing that some of the activists' arguments are that the Government does not provide funding to sustain the domestic violence programmes needed to rehabilitate domestic abusers. "But to label the man an abuser out of the context of one incident which has not been repeated is definitely not the right or fair thing to do."

 

Local soca artistes also shared their views. Swappi said everybody has their own opinions about Brown but at the end of the day, apart from being an entertainer he is a human being. He said Brown has already been forgiven by the industry and has done his time.

His female counterpart Nadia Batson also felt people needed to get over what happened and allow Brown to grow positively. While she does not condone what happened, she feels Brown should not continue to be chastised for something he already paid for. 

"Because of what happened he is viewed as a woman beater, but this is not true. People make mistakes—no one is perfect. I just feel their are many other facets of Chris's life that can be focused on. People in this world are just too judgmental." she said.

 

Young singing sensation Erphaan Alves said Brown’s mistake will haunt him forever and that is just a fact he is going to have to learn to live with it. He said the only reason the issue keeps coming up is because of his role as an entertainer. "Everybody makes mistakes be it a president, mother, father or a plumber. When you are in the public’s eye it's just more difficult for you," said Alves. He continued: "He's is not the first artiste to have a criminal record and certainly won’t the first artiste to visit Trinidad with a record of any kind. Maybe the Guyanese government should have organized things better knowing the issues surrounding domestic violence in the country, but at the end of the day people cannot keep hating on Chris."

 

Megan Walrond, vocalist with the all-female band Sass said she understood the anguish of the women's rights groups in Guyana and that it is important for the Government to get financially involved in the rehabilitation of the perpetrators of domestic violence. But she also feels the people cannot make it a personal attack on Brown as he already served time for his actions. She said the word of God says we ought to forgive and that is what people need to do and move on because both Brown and Rihanna already have.

 

Trinidad and Tobago’s Immigration laws on people with convictions entering this country

 

According to Keith Sampson Deputy Chief Immigration Officer people with criminal records who attempt to enter Trinidad and Tobago may be refused entry under the provisions of sections 8(1)d or 8(1)q of Chapter 18:01— The Immigration Act of the Laws of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago. He said under both sections, the first (8(1)d) states that entry is prohibited to people who have been convicted of or admit having committed any crime, which if committed in Trinidad and Tobago would be punishable with imprisonment for one or more years. The latter (8(1)q) states any person who from information or advice which in the opinion of the Minister is reliable information or advice is likely to be an undesirable inhabitant of, or visitor to Trinidad and Tobago. 

 

Source:http://guardian.co.tt/lifestyle/2012-10-28/examining-views-domestic-violence

 

Face Domestic Violence Facts

Published: Monday, October 28, 2013

 

 Speaking at a gender seminar on Wednesday, Minister of Gender, Youth and Child Development Clifton De Coteau cited troubling statistics related to gender based violence in T&T. His lead figure was the prevalence of homicides resulting from incidents of domestic violence, which run second only to gang killings in the national tally of murder. In 2010, according to the Gender Minister, there were 940 reports of domestic violence 68.2 per cent of which were identified as assault by beating.

The incidence of rape, incest, grievous sexual assault and sex with minor females totalled 673, the majority being reports of rape and sex with underage girls. Gender-based violence, Mr De Coteau warned, “cuts across all cultures, races, religions and socio-economic levels with the majority of cases involving women and girls but which also affects men and boys.” The Gender Minister further noted that the data he was referencing didn’t describe the full extent of gender based violence and the prevalence of threats of such violence.

The information he shared provides a clear signal that the issues surrounding domestic and gender-based violence are both serious and pervasive enough to merit a national effort at mobilising solutions and building increased awareness.

Source: http://guardian.co.tt/editorial/2013-10-28/face-domestic-violence-facts

Gender-based violence figures alarming, says De Coteau

By Michelle Loubon

Story Created: Oct 23, 2013 at 11:21 PM ECT

Story Updated: Oct 24, 2013 at 11:49 AM ECT 

 

INTERVENTIONS NEEDED: Clifton De Coteau

Clifton de Coteau, Minister of Gender, Youth and Child Development, says he was “alarmed” by statistics which revealed homicides, including a majority caused by gender-based violence, were second to gang-related murders

.
He also said interventions, including adequate data collection, non-acceptance on the path of females and legislation, will work towards eradicating violence.

De Coteau made these comments at the restaurant, National Academy for the Performing Arts (NAPA) building, Keate Street, Port of Spain, yesterday during a seminar on Gender-based Violence hosted by the Gender Ministry, in collaboration with the Embassy of Chile and the United Nations. Gender-based violence was deemed any violence that is perpetuated against a person and has a negative effect, includng physical, social or cultural.

The evil scourge manifests itself in rape, domestic violence, trafficking of women and girls, prostitution, harassment, forced marriage, female genital mutilation and sexual assault of children.

Among those present were Raziah Ahmed, Minister in the Minstry of Gender, Youth and Child Development; Chilean Ambassador Fernando Ayala; United Nations Co-ordinator/T&T Richard Blewitt; Dr Yitades Gebre, PAHO/WHO representative; legal consultant on Gender Gaietry Pargass and Angeli Gajadhar, Hindu Women’s Organisation representative.
 

In his first assignment since his illness, De Coteau cited statistics from Crime and Problem Analysis. He said: “The homicide statistics are second only to gang murders. In 2010, there were 940 reports of domestic violence and 68.2 per cent for assault by beating. The high incidence of gang rape is indeed horrifying.
“There are 250 reports of rape, 32 reports of incest and 150 reports of grevious damage, 278 reports of sexual assault and sex with minors (females from 14 to 16).”
 

He added: “From January to August 2013, there were 266 reported cases of sexual offences against females and with one more (at Macqueripe) 267, 116 were charged with Seuxal Offences. We heard (Ayala, Blewitt) about ‘one in three women’ being a victim of violence.”

While these stats made it into the public domain, De Coteau and other speakers said “It is the tip of the iceberg since many cases go unreported for fear of being ‘re-victimised’.” 

 

Source: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Gender-based-violence-figures-alarming-says-De-Coteau-229033541.html

CJ praises Association of Women Judges

Story Created: Oct 23, 2013 at 11:22 PM ECT

Story Updated: Oct 24, 2013 at 11:49 AM ECT 

 

Chief Justice Ivor Archie says the newly-formed Trinidad and Tobago Association of Women Judges (TTAWJ) must be commended for advancing women’s issues including domestic violence and human trafficking. Having formed the local leg, it was working diligently towards establishing a Caribbean Association of Women Judges to ensure the rights of women and children were adhered to and equality for all citizens before the law by March 2014. Archie made these comments while delivering remarks at TTAWJ’s launch at Convocation Hall, Hall of Justice, Port of Spain, yesterday.
Among those present were President Anthony Carmona, Justice Charmaine Pemberton, Magistrate Lisa Ramsumair-Hinds, Justice Carla Brown-Antoine, Kerri-Ann Oliverie, Assistant Registrar of the Supreme Court and Justice Allyson Ramkerrysingh. They were joined by Justice Maureen Rajnauth-Lee who spoke on “The TTAWJ-The Genesis” and Justice Joan Charles who spoke on “The Judge and Public Service.” Sharing in the TTAWJ’s milestone were Suriname’s Justice Carlotta Korona, Dominica’s Chief Magistrate Evelyn Baptiste and Sir Dennis Byron, President of the Caribbean Court of Justice.
Archie said: “Three countries are in the top in the Caribbean for reported issues for rape. One in three women in the Caribbean will experience domestic violence. We need men and women who are committed to making a social difference with issues. TTAWJ’s mandate is totally in sync with initiatives like gender, ethnicity, child abuse and trafficking. Issues that concern women and children have been brought forward. It is up to judges to play an important part in national development.”
Archie added: “Investing in women is “smart economics. The rule of law contributes to a being a fundamental pillar upon which female judges can play a critical function. “
Zeroing on the issue of “sextortion”, Rajnauth-Lee said: “In Zambia and Malawi there was a lot of violence against women and girls. Bosnia-Herzegovina, Philippines and Tanzania were raising awareness on sextortion (a form of exploitation and corruption which occurs when people in positions of authority, namely public officials whether educators, judges, government officials or law enforcement personnel seek to extort sexual favours in exchange for something within their power to grant or withhold. TTAWJ was concerned with issues of rape, incest, domestic violence and sex trafficking.”
Charles lauded Carmona for pioneering the Bayley Boys’ Project to help young offenders. She said TTAWJ was bent on providing public service and “arresting the demise of the dispossessed, abused, neglected and disheartened in the communities”.
She said: “Magistrates and family court judges see firsthand the damaging and deleterious effects of breakdown in the family and home. TTAWJ’s challenge is to enter the domain and effect change to our social environment such as our offices will allow.” Meanwhile, as TTAWJ moves towards the Caribbean Association of Women Judges (CAWJ), a steering committee was set up in Jamaica, Guyana, Barbados and the Eastern Caribbean.
—Michelle Loubon 

 

Source: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/CJ-praises-Association-of-Women-Judges-229033581.html

BRIEF LIFE OF ABUSE

BRIEF LIFE OF ABUSE

By CECILY ASSON Wednesday, October 16 2013

A 34-YEAR-OLD heavy equipment operator yesterday confessed to police that he killed two-month-old Andre Mowlah at his (the baby) home in Erin Road, Cap-de-Ville on Sunday morning.

The man not only confessed to the murder but detailed to police how Andre suffered two months of torture at his hands. The man told shocked officers on four different occasions he had thrown the baby on the ground with the last time being the one which ended baby Andre’s brief yet tortured life.

On Sunday at about 8 am, the baby’s mother Diana Ramsaroop was involved in a heated argument with the man when in a fit of rage, he grabbed baby Andre from inside a crib where he was asleep, raised him high overhead and dashed the child to the floor.

A tearful Ramsaroop would later tell Newsday her baby son did not even cry out from the blow which shattered the back of his tiny skull and caused fatal injuries to his brain. The baby was rushed to the Point Fortin District Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival.

On noticing the injuries, doctors immediately alerted the police. The man, according to reports, at first claimed baby Andre slipped from his grasp as he (the suspect) held him. He later claimed that while holding the baby, his (the suspect) foot went through a rotted flooring board and he let go of the child who fell and hit his head on the floor.

However an autopsy report stated that the extensive cranial damage could not have been caused by a mere fall but was caused by a willful act of forcefully slamming baby Andre to the floor.

Police sources told Newsday yesterday at the Point Fortin Police Station, in an interview room, the man gave investigators an oral confession saying he was provoked into murdering the two-month-old after being accused of stealing tools from a house which is under repairs.

The man was told this was not the first time that baby Andre was thrown to the ground. Police sources told Newsday the man told investigators that earlier this month, during a heated argument with Ramsaroop, he stopped a truck which he was driving and took baby Andre and threw the child into some bushes at the side of the road. The man admitted to police that he often took out his rage on baby Andre. He then outlined two other occasions when in a rage, he had thrown baby Andre to the ground, as if he was a rag doll.

Speaking to Newsday yesterday, Andre’s grieving mother disclosed that after the man threw her son into the bushes, she told him she would report him to police. Both Ramsaroop (holding baby Andre) and the man went to the Cap-de-Ville Police Post where she sought an officer’s assistance.

“A policeman told me there was no one who could help me and that I had to go to the Point Fortin Police Station because there was an officer at that station who dealt with domestic violence issues and that person was there right now,” Ramsaroop told Newsday.

Ramsaroop said she and the man later met a relative in Point Fortin who warned the man that he could go to jail if he continued to abuse baby Andre. “Right there and then he promised he would never do it again so I did not bother to go to the Point Fortin Police Station.

“Looking back on that incident now, perhaps if that officer at Cap-de-Ville Police Post had taken my plea for help seriously, my son would be alive today. Who knows,” Ramsaroop said.

Told about the officer’s conduct in dealing with Ramsaroop at the Cap-de-Ville Police Post, a senior officer in South Western Division knocked the officer at the station for turning away Ramsaroop.

“That officer was wrong to send her away in the company of a man who had not only thrown a baby to the ground but also confessed to committing the very act. That man should have been charged one time. That baby might be alive today if that officer acted differently...acted in the manner he was supposed to,” the senior officer said as he promised an investigation.

Ramsaroop yesterday said she has not slept since her son’s murder.

“Only God knows why Andre came into this world for such a short time and why he had to suffer so badly in his two months of life,” she cried. Ramsaroop said whenever she closes her eyes to sleep she gets nightmares, as the memory of her son being dashed to the ground keeps replaying in her mind. “I am haunted by visions of my son’s death. He was killed before my eyes. I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept since Sunday,” she said.

Yesterday social workers from the National Family Services Unit of the Gender, Youth and Child Development Ministry visited and counselled Ramsaroop, who gave birth to Andre, 18 years after the birth of her first child, from another relationship.

“I was a teenager when I had my first child. Back then not everything was in place. But this time around, I was better prepared when I had Andre. Everything was in place. Baby Andre had everything.”

Investigators are expected to record further statements from witnesses following which the file will be sent to the Office of the Director of Public Prosecution (DPP) for directions on how to proceed in terms of charges. Baby Andre will be laid to rest today at the Cap-de-Ville Public Cemetery following a funeral service at 2 pm. Sgt Solomon is continuing investigations.

Source: http://www.newsday.co.tt/news/0,185101.html

TWO-Month-Old Baby was Killed

Baby’s skull was fractured

Male relative, 34, detained in child’s death

By Susan Mohammed susan.mohammed@trinidadexpress.com

Story Created: Oct 14, 2013 at 11:20 PM ECT

Story Updated: Oct 15, 2013 at 6:12 PM ECT 

 

A TWO-month-old baby was killed on Sunday after he was thrown on the ground by a close male relative in a fit of rage. 

Baby Andre Feroze Mowlah, of Erin Road, Cap-de-Ville, died of blunt force trauma after he suffered multiple fractures to the skull, and a severe contusion to the brain, an autopsy found yesterday. 

Pathologist Dr Valerie Alexandrov told the Express: “The baby had no chance of survival. Babies of this age do not usually suffer such severe trauma. In this particular situation the baby’s left side of his skull was crushed. He was thrown with a great amount of force. He also sustained a cracked rib.” 

A 34-year-old truck driver was detained by police for questioning.  

The incident was witnessed by the baby’s mother, Diana Ramsaroop, 35, who said it was not the first time the child was “slammed to the ground”. 

Ramsaroop, a security guard, said: “He (the close male relative) throw down the child on the ground before. He used to say he sorry. But you cannot be sorry and do it more than once.”  

The mother said: “He (the male relative) is a nice person, but when he get vex he does trip. Another time he was vex and he threw a heater (iron) on the ground and mash it up. 

“Before the baby was born he used to walk away when he was vex. So I don’t know why he didn’t do that.”

Ramsaroop, who also has an 18-year-old daughter, said the incident occurred shortly after 8 a.m. She said that she was outside the house, which is under renovation, putting away tools. Baby Andre was asleep in a crib inside. 

She said an argument broke out between her and the male relative. 

“I was telling him about the tools, that some were missing. He got hyper. He said he was going out. He picked up the child and I don’t know where he went. He came back about ten minutes later. He started to quarrel again and then threw down the baby on the floor. The baby was asleep. He did not even cry,” said Ramsaroop. 

The mother said the male relative picked up the child and placed him on a bed. She said she tried to get closer to the child but the relative blocked her path. 

“He said he going to kill me. I said ‘go ahead’ and he pushed me. He picked up the baby and he realised that the baby was gasping for air,” she said. 

Ramsaroop said the male relative called her sister, Jaime Ramsaroop, who came to the house in her car.

The mother said by that time the child’s head had swollen, but there was no visible bleeding. 

Ramsaroop said her sister cried and begged the man to take the child for medical treatment, and eventually he agreed. The three took the child to the Point Fortin Area Hospital. 

The mother said doctors and nurses questioned the male relative about the child’s injury. “He told them that the baby slipped from his hand and fell, and a piece of wood fell on him. I didn’t say anything”, she said. 

The mother said around 9 a.m. doctors told her that the baby had died. 

Police officers of the Point Fortin CID and Homicide Division (South) took the mother, aunt and male relative to the Point Fortin Police Station where they were questioned. 

The male relative remained in police custody while the mother and aunt were allowed to leave the police station. 

Acting Sergeant Solomon is investigating. 

Source: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Babys-skull--was-fractured--227760021.html

‘Why don’t you just leave?’: A domestic violence survivor responds

By Billie-Jean Niedorowski, Special to the BDN

Posted Oct. 03, 2013, at 1:01 p.m.

George Danby | BDN

 

As an advocate for domestic violence, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say, “Why don’t they just leave?” The more thoughtful questioner doesn’t blame the victim and tries to truly understand. They ask: What are the reasons that make it difficult to leave?

I am not just an advocate but a survivor of domestic violence. My ex-husband could have written the book on abuse. Prior to meeting him, I was a strong person. I made my own choices and was fearless.

However, shortly after he moved in, my whole being, my whole life, changed. We were together for three years before I eventually left. What’s important to know is that in those three years I tried to leave one time — before I actually left.

One time was all it took to teach me that my life was on the line if I left him.

The night started out as usual. He began drinking and started becoming filled with rage. He accused me of cheating on him. It was really more like interrogation. He repeated the same questions over and over.

I gave the same answer that I had not cheated on him. And with each admission that I had done no wrong came violence. His hands were strong. He would grab my hands and squeeze them until I felt like he broke my fingers.

He would ask again; I would deny; and then he grabbed my hair. Twisted it around his hand and pulled me to the floor and put his knee in the middle of my back.

He asked again if I had cheated, and I said no again. He pulled me to the bed by my hair and lifted me onto the bed. He asked me again the same questions, and again I denied what he said.

This time he had a knife, which I didn’t realize he had hidden in his arm sleeve, and he traced my face with the blade. Full of fear and full of tears, I assured him I would tell him the truth if he would just let me go to the bathroom and wash my face. I told him I just wanted to be calm.

For all the screaming and crying, all I knew was I needed to leave, or he would eventually kill me. Surprisingly, he let me get up to go to the bathroom. As I was heading to the bathroom, I ran. I ran for the door. But he was right behind me with his knife and sliced my hand open and stabbed me in my forearm. Blood was everywhere.

Even though I had never cheated on him, I told him I did, so he would stop. I couldn’t go to the hospital. I couldn’t call the police. I couldn’t do anything. Except tell him what he wanted to hear.

What he told me then I will never forget to this day: “This is your fault. If you had just told me the truth to begin with, this wouldn’t have happened. If you lie to me again, if you try to leave again when I’m talking to you, I will kill you.”

Although this was the first time I tried to leave, it was not the last time he abused me. His abuse was physical, emotional, sexual and financial. He even put a knife to my mother and told her, “She will never leave me.” He put a fear in me that I have never known in my entire life. His message was clear, and he acted upon it to prove that he would end my life if I left him.

Eventually I did leave. In October 2008, while he was in prison, his sister encouraged me to “leave now because this is your only chance.” It was the first choice I made for myself in three years.

Leaving was not easy. Every day for about two years I waited for him to come. I was in constant fear that he would kidnap my children to lure me back. I was always looking over my shoulder and convinced he would kill me. It is now five years later, and I don’t feel unsafe any more.

My hope for people reading this is to think the next time they wonder why someone doesn’t leave. It’s not simple. Leaving doesn’t end the fear or stop abusers. The reality is people who live within the walls of abuse do stay. And while it doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, it makes sense to me.

Billie-Jean Niedorowski is an advocate at Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance in Bangor. This is the first in a series of OpEds about domestic violence that will appear during October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Source: http://bangordailynews.com/2013/10/03/opinion/contributors/why-dont-you-just-leave-a-domestic-violence-survivor-responds/

TRINI KILLED IN N.Y.

Story Created: Sep 22, 2013 at 2:35 AM ECT

Story Updated: Sep 22, 2013 at 2:55 AM ECT

Tonight a manhunt is one for a killer in New York City. The victim? a woman from Trinidad and Tobago.

According to reports, a woman fled this country after being constantly abused by a man she was involved with. She then found another lover in New York, and police believe that relationship ultimately led to the woman's death. 

Source: http://www.tv6tnt.com/home/rotator/---TRINI-KILLED-IN-NY----2755----224749952.html

Trini Woman Shot Dead in New York

A Trinidadian woman who migrated to New York to escape an abusive relationship was shot dead by her estranged lover in the West Indian community in Brooklyn. Sellis Gonzales, 44, the mother of two, was killed instantly. The killer sent her daughters on an errand to a nearby eatery before he committed the act. 


In a telephone interview yesterday from Brooklyn, Kirt Gonzales, the brother of the dead woman, said for women to stay in an abusive relationship on the premise that the man will change only results in more pain and even worse, death. He said his sister was shot six times around 8.45 pm on Wednesday. A report from the New York Daily Mail said Sellis’ daughters Khadija, 15, and Alyssa, five, were given $8 by the killer to get food at a nearby chicken eatery.


When they got back some 15 minutes later, they found their mother motionless on the floor. She had been shot three times in the head and midsection, police sources told the newspaper. The Daily Mail said police identified Sallis’ ex-boyfriend as Eric McCormick, 40, who remained at large yesterday. Sellis moved to Brownsville, Brooklyn, when she was 31, as a result of trying circumstances.

“My sister’s second baby’s father used to also abuse her and when I found out I immediately told her to pack her bags and I sent a ticket for her. I wanted her out of that situation. I wanted her to have a better life and to get away from the abuse,” Gonzales said. He never thought his sister would again end up in another abusive relationship. Relatives, he said, tried “many times” to coax Sallis to end the relationship with the suspect but she did not take heed.

“I guess it was just a matter of dating the wrong guy. My mom and I spoke to my sister many, many times,” Gonzales said. “She wanted to let go but she couldn’t. I think it’s really a matter of women having respect for themselves and to demand that respect from the person they are with.” Despite the abuse he never thought his sister would be killed. “I mean she was shot six times. I thought it would be a black-and-blue eye but I never thought she would be killed. I was not expecting death,” he added.

He said he intended to apply for legal custody of his nieces. Urging women to immediately “walk away” when they spot the first sign of abuse, Gonzales said the message must be spread that women must not be subjected to any type of abuse, whether physical, mental or emotional.

Source: http://www.guardian.co.tt/news/2013-09-21/trini-woman-shot-dead-new-york

Man Tries To Kill Woman

By CECILY ASSON Thursday, September 19 2013

A DAY after a 47-year-old security guard was released after being arrested for allegedly raping his estranged 30-year-old common-law wife whom he had handcuffed, the man returned to the woman’s La Brea home and attempted to kill her with a cutlass.

He was rearrested yesterday and remains in custody at the La Brea Police Station. The mother of four, was chopped on her left palm. She was treated and discharged from hospital. On Tuesday, Newsday was told, the suspect was released from custody on the instruction of a senior officer in South Western Division.

Police have in their possession, a pair of handcuffs which the man used to restrain the woman as he raped her. The couple were separated for the past two months after the relationship began last November.

Following threats to her life and that of her children, the woman three weeks ago moved in with one of her siblings.

According to police, at about 2.30 pm on Monday, the woman was at home watching television when she was attacked by the man who entered the house armed with a cutlass. The man handcuffed the woman and then raped her. He then left the house.

The suspect was arrested shortly after but was ordered released by a First Division officer even as investigations were ongoing. At 12.10 am yesterday, the man returned to his victim’s home and chopped her. He has since been held and is in custody.

Yesterday, the frightened woman told Newsday she cannot understand why police allowed her attacker to be released after he raped her. “I am even more terrified now because I don’t know what will happen. They might set him free a second time. I am going into hiding.

He is always threatening to kill me and my children,” the woman cried.

Checks with police last night revealed that the man was still in custody and charges are expected to be laid against him soon.

A senior police source said that an investigation would be launched into the claim that a policeman had ordered the suspect released. 

Source: http://www.newsday.co.tt/crime_and_court/0,183860.html

Reasons Why Women Stay

Experts look at domestic abuse...

By Camille Bethel camille.bethel@trinidadexpress.com

Story Created: Sep 15, 2013 at 10:08 PM ECT

Story Updated: Sep 16, 2013 at 11:45 AM ECT

Diana Mahabir-Wyatt

There are several reasons why people in abusive domestic situations choose to stay, experts say.

Chair of the Coalition Against Domestic Violence Diana Mahabir-Wyatt spoke to the Express on what she believes are the most prominent reasons.

“Number one is very often because of children. If you have children in the union very often the parents decide not to split up for one reason or another because they think it will distress the children. In many cases it is worse for the children to live in an environment of stress, tension and violence in which they are learning violence as an interactive response,” she said.

She also highlighted the lack of finance as another reason that makes it difficult for the abused to leave such a situation.

“They can’t afford to both look after the children and go to work. If the children are around the age of two or four, many women for example are left without a ready income that will allow them child care because they don’t have adequate State child-care for children under the age of three.

“If you have to work, you can’t take your children to work with you and that is the most frequently given reason by women with children under the age of three, why they can’t leave,” she said.

Mahabir-Wyatt said in some cases if they have a parent or a relative who is willing to take them in until they can get a job and they can support the children that takes considerable amounts of money as well.

“If you have children and you have to have reliable child care, food, clothes, transport, medical care...for many that is just impossible.

“So many decide to stay, face what they have to face until the children are old enough for school and they just have to live with it...there are women like that.”

Asked whether fear also keeps women in abusive relations she said it can and does happen.

“It happens with human trafficking very frequently and that’s one of the big issues that we are now dealing with—human trafficking either for domestic employment or for sexual transactions and in some cases you hear stories of women from other countries like Jamaica or DR (Dominican Republic) having their passports taken away and provided with a room at the back, and are told they will have to work until their tickets are paid off. They stay because they are intimidated, they are frightened.

“In the case of domestic violence, we have had cases, now less frequent, because women are now more educated,” she said.

Mahabir-Wyatt said women who have family support in some instances are scared to leave because there are threats to siblings and parents that if they don’t stay away then they are going to get beaten or threatened in some other way.

“It is not always physical. Sometimes people stay because they get so accustomed to the bullying that they are paralysed. In those instances it would usually be a parent or a close friend who will help them to get their act to together to go on,” she pointed out.

She said they are seeing a reduction in the number of educated women staying in abusive relationships, adding that if a woman being abused does not report the abusive situation, then a stranger shouldn’t take it upon themselves to do so, because women resent that.

Psychologist Dr Krishna Maharaj also spoke with the Express on some of the reasons women decide to stay.

“Many times you have a situation where the lack of family or community support obliges the woman for economic reasons to continue in those relationships because it is difficult for her to have a real opportunity to get out because she is alone.

“Another reason cited has been some women feel a sense of loyalty, they feel they have the ability or the power to change and transform this individual who may be expressing violence and hostility. Maybe because of their developmental history that was negative and may have impacted on their development into adulthood in such a way that they are not really responsible. Women consider that kind of history and feel a sense of duty to try and rehabilitate or help the partner overcome their pattern of hostility and abuse,” he said.

Maharaj said a lesser reason would include the religious indoctrination that when people take a vow “for better or for worse” and abuse occurs they feel it is part of the lessons in life that they must endure...they must stick it out.

Maharaj said there is also the issue of threat that the abuser may say to the victim, “If you leave I will hunt you down, I will find you and I will do mean, awful things to you”.

“Although not many of them who make those threats have the ability to carry them out, many of them realise they don’t need to carry out the threat because verbal threats are enough,” he reasoned.

He said mothers also make the sacrifice to stay for the children because they don’t want a situation where she may have to split the family, take some of the children and jeopardise their future.

Maharaj said when the time comes for a person to make the decision to leave an abusive relationship it is like a case of substance abuse.

“If they don’t have insight, they can’t. One must be aware ‘I don’t have to take this nonsense anymore because I know I can get help’ but if they don’t recognise this or the support systems are not there in the society, then women will continue to stay in abusive relationships,” he pointed out.

Maharaj said depression steps in when abuse continues and may find the victim withdrawing from the family.

“They lose their self-esteem, their self-respect and may even abuse drugs secretly,” he noted.

He said signs that a woman is moving towards getting out of an abusive relationship is she may begin to discuss it with people, either in a religious setting, with neighbours or relatives and then they may begin reaching out to external support systems for help, like counselling, and later start making plans to move out of the situation.

However he pointed out there is also something called the Stockholm syndrome where the victim begins to identify with the abuser that may keep that person in the situation.

“Where instead of fighting the aggressor she begins to identify with the abuser and makes excuses for him,” Maharaj said. 

 

Source: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Reasons-why-women-stay-223852341.html

Editorial: Domestic violence remains too prevalent and puzzling

September 08, 2013 @ 10:00 PM

The Herald-Dispatch

America has made a lot of progress on the domestic violence front over the past few decades.

Statistics show that incidents of "intimate partner violence" -- incidents between spouses, ex-spouses or partners -- declined almost 64 percent between 1994 and 2010, according to the Department of Justice. More intervention, shelters and better policing all have helped to bring those numbers down.

But that is of little consolation to the families and friends of a man and his ex-wife found shot to death in his East Pea Ridge home last weekend. Investigators are still piecing together what happened between the two Saturday night, saying only that evidence indicates it was an incident of violence between the two parties and that a single firearm was found.

Friends and family members were shocked and shaken by the deaths. They acknowledge the two had had their ups and downs, but no one had seen or suspected any pattern of aggression or violence.

But that can be part of the tragedy of domestic violence. Help is available, but this still very prevalent problem is one too often unforeseen or shrouded by silence.

Even the most conservative estimates show that about 600,000 women and 100,000 men are victims of intimate partner violence each year, accounting for about 30 percent of the murders among women. But those numbers are just the tip of the iceberg, because much of the violence is never reported. The Center for Disease Control estimates that as many as 12 million women and men could be victims of some type of violence or stalking each year.

While domestic violence initiatives have increased both locally and nationally, experts say that there is still much to learn about the signs of serious violence and strategies that can help prevent it. Although about three-fourths of Americans say they know someone who has been the victim of domestic violence, for most of us, it remains an unpredictable puzzle.

One promising national initiative is working to pull together data on this type of violence from across the country. Eighteen states are now reporting to the National Violent Death Reporting System operated by the CDC.

Researchers hope that by gathering more information and looking at factors such as family histories and dynamics and social and economic conditions, they can develop and implement better strategies to prevent violence in the home.

Ohio is now participating in the program, and that is something officials in West Virginia and Kentucky should consider as well.

Source: http://www.herald-dispatch.com/opinions/x1986655719/Editorial-Domestic-violence-remains-too-prevalent-and-puzzling

Health, Crime Issues High on Needs List for Women

Health, crime issues high on needs list for women

By Tiffanie Drayton Sunday, September 8 2013

Women shop for bargains on Charlotte Street, Port-of-Spain yesterday. ...

Women are seldom the focus of the national budget despite society’s growing economic dependency on them as not only primary child caretakers, but also, in many cases, the sole household breadwinners.

Not having many expectations about the Government’s ability to effect change or provide assistance have led to many women becoming jaded when it comes to discussing their needs but still they hope someone might heed their cries for help.

“Right now, as a woman, I work like a man,” said Jackie Garraway a 36-year-old clothing store attendant, “Whatever they (the Government) do, you still have to work hard to make ends meet.” Garraway, who has two school-aged children and describes herself as an “almost” single parent, believes one of the biggest unaddressed women’s issues is the need for better healthcare, especially in the maternity wards of the country’s public hospitals.

“The service at the hospital is terrible,” she said,”You could die or have a baby right there before someone even come over to help you.”

Other women have similar concerns. Nikisia Drayton, an expectant mother, worries that the country’s public medical facilities are underperforming and putting patients’ lives in danger. “I have a friend who has had a lump in her breasts for about two months now and they keep pushing her surgery date back. They don’t even know if it is cancer or not,” she said.

Violence is also a major concern for many women who fear that their families may be caught in the crossfires of the gun violence plaguing communities such as in East Port of Spain.

The pressing issue of crime has been addressed in previous budgets with very little to no progress made in decreasing the nation’s crime-related deaths. As of 2013, the murder rate continues to be driven by gang and drug-related activity, despite last year’s concerted effort to crack down on crime. Crimes related to sexual assault and domestic abuse have also been on the rise. Since 2008, there has been a steady uptick in sexual offenses from 692 to 1,020 in 2012.

“There was a time when everybody felt safe walking down the streets, but now I feel like if I always have to look over my shoulder to make sure I’m safe,” said Candice Greaves, another working mother.

Although social issues are the points of interest for most women, for others, the concern is economics.

One woman, a small business-owner on Charlotte Street who didn’t want to be named, believes the Government has unfair sanctions that hurt people like herself.

“Small businesses are being treated real badly,” she said, “The Government charges us VAT for any merchandise we buy to sell, but when we look to sell it, we cannot charge customers VAT and that’s not fair.”

The new budget may address some of these issues indirectly, but many feel legislation should be drafted that specifically targets the needs of women, as well as the community at large.

“Trinidad needs to make its women a priority because we are doing everything these days: we are working in and out of the home and many of us looking to start our own businesses. We need all the support we can get,” Miss Garrison urged.

Source: http://www.newsday.co.tt/news/0,183327.html